Premature ejaculation – let’s address the elephant in the room shall we?
When it comes to sex, a race to the finish line is the last thing you’re aiming for.
According to a 2005 sex therapist survey, anywhere between 7 and 13 minutes is “desirable”.
But this a far cry from the one- to two-minute-long bouts of bonking someone suffering from premature ejaculation experiences.
If premature ejaculation is something you’ve been battling against, you’re not alone.
Although estimates vary, it’s thought that as many as 1 in 3 men experience this problem at some time in their life.
It may just be a temporary blip in your personal sexual odyssey, but it may signal an underlying health issue.
If it’s an ongoing problem for you, consult your GP. In many cases, there are a few simple steps you can take to learn how to control and overcome this pesky penile problem.
Potential Causes of Premature Ejaculation
Every man is different physiologically, so firstly you’ll need to work out what’s causing your PE.
Gaining an understanding of what you need to work on can considerably speed up the whole process.
The answer could be more simple than you thought, or it might be a more complex reason that requires more intensive treatment, such as therapy.
Penis Health
Your penis is like a barometer for your overall health.
The heart is one of the most important organs in your body, especially when it comes to your erections and sexual performance.
Keeping fit by exercising regularly and avoiding too much unhealthy food is imperative for penis health.
Additionally, anxiety about sexual performance is a leading cause of PE, so underwhelming erections or low self-esteem due to body image may be an underlying reason.
Mental Health
Your brain is probably the key player when it comes to premature ejaculation.
For a lot of men, shooting your load before the whistle has blown is all in the mind.
In some cases, anxiety, fear and guilt about sexual performance perpetuate the issue and prevent men from seeking help.
Depression, stress and other emotional and psychological factors can also play a part in sexual performance.
The worst thing you can do is internalise the problem or bury your head in the sand. Speak openly with your partner or someone you’re close to and seek professional help.
Excessive Drug or Alcohol Use
Ejaculation is a complicated process that combines the physiological with the psychological.
Using alcohol and drugs causes imbalances in the chemicals in your brain that are also responsible for triggering stimulation and the big O.
Psychoactives usually affect the central nervous system; speeding up or slowing down your heart, which can interfere with sexual performance.
Cutting down on drink or eliminating the naughtier substances could solve your PE problem.
Too Much Porn and Dodgy Masturbatory Style
We’re sorry to say it lads, but your PornHub habit could be holding you back … or preventing you from holding back.
It’s so easy to find whatever tickles your fancy and knock one out in 30 seconds flat that you may have trained your winky to jump the gun.
Additionally, a reasonably simple cause is your masturbatory style.
If you’re used to using a particularly loose grip when you’re spanking the monkey, it could make the warm grip of a woman’s honeypot too much to handle.
Hypersensitivity
Some men are just extremely sensitive to stimuli.
While this may sound like a great thing, it’s not if you want to be a master of pleasure between the sheets.
Hypersensitivity is closely linked with premature ejaculation, and it has many causes.
Most of them can be treated, so if you believe this condition is affecting you, speak to your GP. There are several tactics you can try with your partner to slow down the process, which we’ll discuss in detail below.
Pay Attention to Erection Types
Learn about your physiology and the mechanisms at work behind sexual function.
A greater understanding of the body often leads to greater control over it. For instance, did you know there are three erection types?
That’s right; there’s a psychogenic erection – which is all in the mind. This type of erection occurs without any physical touch; it’s purely a response to psychological stimuli.
Then there’s the reflexogenic erection. The clue is in the name here; it happens as a response to physical contact.
Finally, there’s the nocturnal erection. This guy is the cause of your morning wood, which is just one of several a healthy man experiences every night.
Medical Treatments for Premature Ejaculation
Most doctors recommend taking a behavioural approach before turning to medication, but there are some less extreme medical methods you can try.
If you’ve been struggling with PE for years and you’ve tried everything from yoga to yodelling to stave off the spaff, these ideas could help you.
Viagra
That mysterious little blue pill is famous for giving men stonking hard-ons that last for hours, but it can also help you to last longer.
Provided you’re otherwise healthy; viagra is a safe and highly effective method for treating PE.
Plus, even if you do shoot your load within minutes – you’ll be ready to go again straight away.
Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors
Your doctor can offer you SSRIs. This type of medication is typically prescribed to people who are struggling with depression, but it has a side effect that can be handy for men with PE: delayed ejaculation.
In low doses, it won’t have an impact on your mental health, but it could help with your penile predicament.
Alternative Medicine
As the ultimate last resort, acupuncture, Ayurveda and Chinese herbal remedies have shown some possible effectiveness at helping guys with PE — although studies into this area are usually described as “very low quality”.
Ayurveda is traditional Indian medicine, and the holistic approach to healing has several natural solutions you can concoct yourself at home.
You don’t have to be a hippy to give them a go — different men will respond to different things. If you’ve tried everything else and you’re still having no luck, anything is worth a shot.
Behavioural Methods of Controlling Premature Ejaculation
If you don’t quite feel ready to sit down with the doc and discuss your pork sword, there are a ton of techniques you can try to boost your staying power.
Lay off the Porno
Using your imagination instead of having access to millions of wild fantasies at the click of a button changes the way you’re wired to respond to stimuli.
Once your brain gets used to putting in a bit of effort for the sweet reward, it’s likely you’ll have greater control over ejaculation.
As difficult as it might be to tear yourself away from the habit, it could turn your sex life from stale to sensational.
The Stop and Squeeze
This involves trying as hard as you can to actively take control over the splooge.
When you feel you’re getting close to climax, stop.
Then, either squeeze the area where your shaft meets your helmet yourself or ask your partner to do it.
Take a few deep breaths and repeat the process until you’re both satisfied.
Sex Therapy
Unless there is deep-seated trauma present in your past that’s contributing to the problem, sex therapy usually only takes a couple of months and can be highly effective.
Exercise
It’s easy to neglect daily exercise when our lives are so busy, but it is imperative to preventing anxiety and staying in fine form as we get older.
A healthy body equals a healthy sex life, so if you’re not fighting fit, you may want to try some of the following workouts:
- Kegels
- Yoga
- Floor exercises
- Jogging
- Mindful meditation
Cock Rings and Specialist Condoms
Cock rings help by limiting the amount of blood flow and sensation you feel during intercourse.
Once you’re erect, slide it into your member, and it can help to stop you from getting too excited while also providing additional stimulation for your lady.
Specialist condoms usually contain a type of lube that decreases sensation for you, helping you to go the distance.
Take a Different Approach to Sexy Time
Once you stop obsessing over your orgasm and how quickly you’re worried it’s going to happen, keeping yourself from spaffing too soon becomes much more manageable.
Instead of focusing on penetration — which isn’t usually how a woman achieves climax — use your hands, mouth or sex toys to ensure she’s fully satisfied before entering her.
Intimacy and closeness are the biggest turn-ons for a lady, and making her cum hard every time is likely to give you the confidence necessary to begin overcoming your anxiety.
