Last Updated on 10th July 2023 by Charlie Walsh
Anal sex has long been a favourite taboo of many people. Campaigners and red-tops still use it to shock — often needlessly. Yet it still persists, and more and more people are enjoying this form of pleasure. It doesn’t matter if you’re male or female — the backdoor is always open for fun!
If you’re interested in trying anal for the first time or just looking to expand your repertoire, the first steps are education and preparation. Good preparation for anal sex ensures a far more comfortable and pleasurable experience for you and your partner.
Why Try Anal Play?
The anus and rectum are erogenous zones for both men and women. Anal play can stimulate areas that otherwise go untouched, and for those who are comfortable with it, the result is a mind-blowing orgasm. While many couples consider taking part in anal play as a means to spice up their sex lives, other couples and individuals are simply drawn to it naturally. Regardless of your reasons, anal play can be a fun and safe way to break away from your routine and enjoy something different with your partner or even by yourself.
Preparing For Anal Sex
1. Take a solo journey first
When it comes to butt-play, it can be daunting to know where to start, so getting a feel for what you find pleasurable will go a long way. Make sure you’re turned on (this isn’t a medical exam) and start slow. Starting with a finger is an easy way to break the ice. Use lots of lube and just see what feels right. Understanding your body and what feels good will make the experience much more fun for you and your partner.
2. Don’t skimp on the lube
The backdoor doesn’t self-lubricate like the vagina, so be prepared with some silicone lube to help smooth things over. Never try anal sex without it — you’ll run the risk of tearing of the wall inside your anus, increasing the risk of STIs, plus it’s a needlessly painful experience. Silicone lube is hypoallergenic and has a higher viscosity than water-based lubes, so it is more slippery and will last longer. On the downside, it usually needs soap and water to get off, unlike water-based lubes.
3. Foreplay gets you in the mood
With anal play, getting warmed up is as important as it is with any other sexual endeavor. Getting relaxed will ease your experience. If your sphincter is too tight, it will be uncomfortable. It is important to relax, and communication with your partner is a key to success. Try having your partner start on the outside with light rubbing, and then move on to licking. Spend some time getting relaxed and in the mood. Let your partner know what feels good — experimentation can be a great way to learn what you both like. Remember, just have fun.
4. Start slow and steady
This isn’t a race. Take your time and don’t rush into it. Communication is key when it comes to anal sex. It is important to let your partner know how you’re feeling. After warming up, try having your partner insert a finger first, and then a small anal plug. Eventually, move up to a penis or dildo. It cannot be stressed enough that lots of lube is extremely important. Remember that your anus is very sensitive, and while anal sex can produce a lot of amazing sensations, it needs to be handled with care. Don’t be afraid to tell your partner to slow down.
5. Hygiene is paramount
When we’re talking about the backside, you can imagine how things might get a little messy. Many people claim you should get an enema before anal play, but this isn’t necessary. Since waste isn’t stored in the anus, there isn’t a huge risk of an accident happening. There is, however the risk of getting a little messy. Take a shower beforehand, and wash your backside with a gentle soap. Put a towel down to catch any excess lube, fecal matter or anything else you don’t want on the sheets. It is important to remember that you should never go from anal to vaginal intercourse without washing first, as bacteria from your anus can cause an infection if it gets into your vagina.
What to Expect When You’re Engaging in Anal SEX
Anal play used to be a taboo subject, but for many adventurous and even some so-called vanilla couples, it’s just a normal part of having a healthy sex life. Those who haven’t tried it may wonder exactly what to expect when they have their anus or rectum stimulated by themselves or a partner.
Preparing your space
Anal sex and other anal play acts have a tendency to get a little messy. It usually takes plenty of lube to get the anus comfortable with penetration, and for some, the orgasm that results can be just as messy. Before starting an anal play session, it’s usually a good idea to move precious articles of clothing and other special items away from your space and lay down some towels or a large sheet that you don’t mind getting dirty.
Anal training
If you’re new to having your anus stimulated, it might be a good idea to train your anus before going right for it. When penetrated, your anal muscles contract, and the larger the item you’re inserting up there, the tighter they’re going to get. This can result in discomfort or even pain for some.
Anal training can be done to help your muscles ease into having things such as a penis, a butt plug or an anal dildo inserted into your rectum. The best way to do this is by starting small. Begin by having a partner insert their pinkie finger into your anus with plenty of lube. Once you’re comfortable with that, work your way up to something larger, such as two fingers, anal beads or a small butt plug. It may take several sessions before you’re ready to move up from pinkie finger to something larger and again, several more until you’re ready to use a full-sized dildo or have a penis inserted into your rectum.
How it feels to have anal sex
Anal sex can feel slightly different for men and women, but at the end of the day, the result of properly performed anal sex is usually a mind-blowing g-spot or p-spot orgasm.
In the beginning, it can feel a bit weird for most people. If you’re not using enough lube, you might feel some discomfort, similar to when you need to have a bowel movement. This can usually be overcome by adding more lubrication or simply slowing down. If it’s not, it’s okay to stop and try again another time.
Once you’ve overcome the first-timer awkwardness, you’ll probably start to notice some pleasurable sensations. Both men and women have erogenous zones that can be accessed from inside the rectum. For men, it’s the prostate or the p-spot, and for women, it’s the g-spot. When stimulated, the p-spot and g-spot can create incredible orgasms. Men often report that p-spot orgasms are infinitely better than penile orgasms.
What to Takeaway
Anal sex is an adventure, and it can be a wonderful thing to add to your sex life, as long as you take your time and do it right. If you’ve had a bad experience, it can be difficult to try again, even if your partner is really into the idea. Just remember not to rush (and don’t let your partner rush you); it’s all about being prepared and getting comfortable. As long as you take it slow and communicate with your partner, this could be an adventure you want to go on for years to come.
