Do Women Like Anal Sex? What They’re Really Saying

Here’s the truth: you can’t Google “do women like anal sex” without wading through a digital swamp of conflicting advice, male-centered forums, porn myths, and – if you’re lucky – a few threads that actually bother to ask women themselves. Spoiler alert: the answers vary wildly.

Some women love it. Some hate it. Some feel ambivalent but curious. Others tried it once, wrote it off forever, and have zero desire to revisit the backdoor. But the bigger issue is this – why are we still so weird about it?

So today, we’re stripping away the guilt, porn tropes, and 2003 Cosmopolitan headlines to talk plainly: do women like anal sex? Let’s find out.

Does Anal Feel Good For Women?

Let’s start with bodies. For most people with vulvas, the anus isn’t the star of the show – but that doesn’t mean it’s irrelevant. The area is rich in nerve endings, and for some women, anal stimulation can feel good on its own. For others, it’s only enjoyable when paired with clitoral or vaginal stimulation. (In fact, the combo is often what tips things over into “oh damn” territory.)

But here’s the thing: the anus isn’t self-lubricating. That means lubrication is essential, and how you go about anal is just as important as whether you do it at all. For a deep dive into prepping properly, we’ve broken that down in our guide to preparing for anal. Spoiler: skipping that step is a rookie move.

Why the Brain Matters More Than the Butt

Even more than physical sensation, anal sex is a head game – and not the fun kind you finish in five minutes. The mental barriers are real: anxiety, shame, fear of pain, pressure to perform, or worse, feeling like it’s “not for us” but something we’re supposed to endure for the guy’s benefit.

And let’s be clear: that’s garbage.

Anal sex is not an obligation. It’s not a checkbox on a sexual bucket list. And if someone’s pushing you to “just try it” without your enthusiastic buy-in? Run. Or at least re-negotiate the terms of the relationship. Because good anal sex – great anal sex – relies on communication, preparation, and total consent. Not coercion disguised as curiosity.

Porn, Pressure, and the Performance Myth

Now, we need to talk about the giant, pixelated elephant in the room: porn. Because let’s be real – most of what straight men think about anal sex comes from watching someone get jackhammered on a casting couch with zero foreplay, zero lube, and zero realism.

And you know what? That absolutely influences how women feel about it. If you think you’re going to be expected to perform like a porn star on your first try (with no prep, no warm-up, no say), it’s no wonder the whole idea seems terrifying.

Women aren’t anti-anal – we’re anti-performative nonsense. Big difference.

So… Do Women Like Anal Sex?

Yes. And no. And sometimes.

Here’s what actual women had to say when we asked them to tell the truth. No edits. No judgment. Just honesty.

What Real Women Are Saying

“My first experience was rushed and uncomfortable, so I hated it for years. I also feel like I “gave in” to it when my partner kept asking, so Matthew if you’re reading this, it was shit! But if you’re with someone who knows what they’re doing, it can be really hot.”
  –  Leah, 29, straight

“It’s not something I crave, but if I’m in the right headspace and fully aroused, it can feel amazing. The key is clit stimulation though, or I’d just be waiting for it to be over.”
  –  Emily, 34, straight

“I like the power dynamic. When I’m the one in control and calling the shots, it flips the script on how I’ve been taught to feel about anal.”
  –  Jules, 31, queer

“I tried it three times and hated it each time. I’m glad I gave it a chance, but I’ve made peace with the fact that it’s just not for me.”
  –  Anna, 37, straight

“I’m a huge fan. It’s a head trip and a body high all at once. But it took me years to stop feeling guilty about liking it – like it meant something about me that it doesn’t.”
  –  Nat, 42, pansexual

Top Reasons Women Do Like Anal Sex

Let’s count them down – no hype, no porn scripts, just reality:

1. Novelty – It’s different. A new sensation. In long-term relationships especially, it adds an element of surprise (and sometimes hilarity).
2. Taboo thrill – Doing something “forbidden” can be a huge turn-on – if you’re the one choosing it.
3. Intense orgasms – With the right combo of anal and clitoral or vaginal stimulation? Game changer.
4. Power play – Whether you’re in control or handing it over, anal can engage power dynamics in a deeply erotic way.
5. Deeper connection – Sounds counterintuitive, but many women say it made them feel more intimate with their partner – not less.

Top Reasons Women Don’t Like Anal Sex

Let’s also keep it 100:

1. Pain – If it’s not done right, it hurts. Period.
2. Pressure – Too many women feel expected to like it, which kills the mood entirely.
3. Hygiene anxiety – The fear of mess is real, even if the reality is usually less dramatic.
4. Cultural baggage – From religion to upbringing to media messaging, there’s a lot of mental weight to unpack.
5. Lack of control – If you feel like you’re being “talked into it,” your body’s probably not going to cooperate.
   

So How Should You Try It (If You Want To)?

Here’s the honest formula for a good experience:

• Communication: Say what you want. Say what you don’t. Ask questions. Laugh if it gets awkward.
• Foreplay: You can’t jump from making out to penetration. Think fingers, toys, lube, and slow build-up.
• Lube: Then more lube. Then a bit more. Always use a safe, water-based lube – and reapply often.
• Control: You call the shots. Your pace. Your rules.
• Aftercare: Cuddles, water, snacks, reassurance – whatever makes you feel cared for afterward.

Oh, and if you’re with a guy who’s all about performance? Maybe suggest he take a detour and explore some water-based cock pumps for men before taking the plunge.

FAQ: Your Questions, Answered

Can women orgasm from anal sex alone?

Yes – but it’s rare. Most women need clitoral stimulation in combination with anal to climax. If you can do it with just anal, congrats – you’re a unicorn.

Is anal cleaner than people think?

Usually. The rectum doesn’t store poop like a waiting room; if you’re not due for a bowel movement, there’s not much in there. But cleaning beforehand helps, both physically and mentally.

Is it normal to be curious but scared?

100%. Anal sex is one of the most overhyped and misunderstood sexual acts out there. Curiosity doesn’t equal commitment – and fear doesn’t make you immature. It makes you human.

Should I prep even if I’m not sure I want to go through with it?

Only prep if you feel safe, informed, and truly open to exploring – not because someone else expects you to. But if you are curious, prepping right can make the experience smoother. 

Final Word: You’re Not Weird (No Matter What You Like)

Liking anal doesn’t make you dirty, and not liking it doesn’t make you boring. How you feel about it doesn’t define you – it just informs you. You’re allowed to explore, you’re allowed to not, and you’re allowed to change your mind a hundred times.

The only wrong way to do anal is to do it for someone else’s satisfaction at the cost of your own. Everything else? That’s just honest experimentation. So if you’re curious, talk about it. If you’re ready, go slow. If you’re not? You’re not. And that’s totally fine too.