“I know it when I see it,” said Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart of pornography in 1964.
But how that “it” has changed! In just 60 years, we’ve gone from softcore “adult films” that you could buy from a store on the high street, to a somewhat unfiltered all-you-can-watch buffet of bedroom antics – not to mention a whole new roster of positions and acts that we often try (and more often fail) to test out in our own bedrooms.
If Stewart thought he knew “it” then, the porn of 2025 would probably make his eyes pop out of his head.
But how does pornography impact your relationship? Let’s take a look at both sides.
What Does Pornography Do to the Brain?
There have been countless studies conducted on how porn impacts the brain, but when it comes to determining how porn impacts your relationship, two key studies stand out.
In one study, researchers found that porn effectively “dulls” the reward system in your brain – this means that excessive porn-watching might make it harder for you to experience pleasure from activities you used to enjoy, including sex with your partner.
A second study found that exposure to pornography can lead to unrealistic expectations about sex and partners, which can negatively impact relationship satisfaction on both sides, and leave both parties dissatisfied in general with the relationship.
How Does Porn Affect Relationships
Taking the information from this study – as well as what we generally know about the effects of pornography – here are just a few ways in which regularly watching porn can damage your relationship:
Emotional Disconnect
While the occasional X-rated film isn’t going to kill off your relationship faster than a Game of Thrones screenwriter, it can still create distance between you and your partner. Why? Because as we mentioned above, pornography can promote unrealistic expectations about sex, which can in turn make you feel less interested in the real person you share your bed with.
And with sites like OnlyFans now integrating interactive elements into online pornography, porn can become a substitute for genuine emotional connection, and excessive use can cultivate unhealthy dependencies with online strangers.
Trust Issues
Nothing says “I trust you” like frantically closing browser tabs when your partner walks in, right? Excessive porn use can also make your partner feel insecure, especially if you’re talking to models and consuming their content on a daily basis.
Plus, it can lead to unfair comparisons. Because let’s be real, comparing yourself to porn stars is like comparing your cooking to Gordon Ramsay’s. It’s a recipe for feeling inadequate, and nobody wants a side of insecurity with their relationship.
Erectile Dysfunction and Low Libido
Too much solo time with porn can also sometimes lead to a disappointing performance when it’s showtime with a partner. And this makes sense; if your brain is used to the constant novelty and stimulation of goodness-knows-what online, it can become less responsive to real-life sexual encounters. Essentially, your brain may become “desensitized” to the natural rewards of partnered sex, which isn’t good for anybody!
So, how much porn is too much?
Finding a Healthy Balance
Now, before you go smashing your computer in a fit of anti-porn rage, remember: it’s all about balance. Here are some tips:
- Communication is key. Talk to your partner about porn like adults, not like teenagers caught with a dirty magazine. In moderation, porn can actually bring you together and allow you to try out new things.
- Set boundaries. Maybe watching porn together is your thing, or maybe you both agree to keep it out of the relationship. Try to settle on a realistic goal that suits everyone.
- Remember, porn is fantasy. Your partner is real, and real is beautiful (even with bed hair and morning breath).
- If porn is causing problems, don’t be afraid to seek help. There’s no shame in talking to a professional if it’s getting out of hand – porn addiction is real, and can spill over into your IRL life.
- Focus on building intimacy in your relationship. Real-life connections beat pixels every time, so don’t abandon a real-life relationship for someone who’s getting paid for you to watch them or talk to them.
And hey, if you’re looking to spice things up in the bedroom without relying on porn, why not check out some of our penis pumps? Our pumps allow you to keep your dick harder and thicker for longer, so you might actually end up feeling like a porn star. Take a look at our Bathmate before and after results to see what one of these tools can do. After all, sometimes a little boost in confidence can go a long way.
And remember, at the end of the day, porn is just a tool. Like any tool, it can be used well or poorly. The key is to make sure it’s enhancing your relationship, not replacing it. After all, no amount of high-definition hijinks can replace the warmth of a real human connection.
