If you’re feeling a bit unsure of yourself in the bedroom, know that firstly, this is incredibly common. Whether you’re dealing with body confidence issues or worrying that you simply don’t have enough stamina to truly show your partner a good time (and a long time!) know that you’re not the only person suffering with sexual anxiety.
The good news? Sexual confidence is absolutely something you can work on and improve – you just need to put in a little bit of effort to get there.
The Importance of Sexual Confidence
Firstly – why does sexual confidence matter? It’s fairly straightforward – when you feel confident in bed, you’re more likely to enjoy the experience, communicate your needs effectively, and satisfy your partner. And trust us when we say that body confidence is not about being perfect or having a model-worthy body; it’s about feeling comfortable in your own skin and actually being able to enjoy your sexual experiences without getting bogged down by complexes.
Build Body Confidence
This one is a no-brainer: if you’ve managed to get someone into your bed in the first place, (consentingly, of course), it’s because they think you’re smoking hot and they wanna bang!
Still, body confidence is a common problem and it isn’t exclusive to women: around 90% of men are unhappy – in some way – with their body and physical appearance. Here’s how to get around your insecurities:
Embrace Your Unique Features
Instead of focusing on what you perceive as flaws, try to appreciate the unique features that make you, well, you. Maybe you have a killer smile, expressive eyes, or a super pert bum after all those hours in the gym. Celebrate these attributes rather than focusing on attaining an idealized sports model physique. Not even those models look like that, it’s 90% airbrushing!
Practice Positive Self-Talk
The way you talk to yourself matters – and by that we mean the little voice in your head that says “beer belly! beer belly! beer belly!” whenever you’re in front of the mirror in your birthday suit. Now listen, you don’t have to stand in front of the mirror and repeat positive affirmations while butt naked, but changing your approach to how you see yourself can make a difference. Instead of looking in the mirror and immediately locating all of your flaws, find the things you love and think about how you can show them off.
Practice Grooming and Self-Care
As we’ve established, sexual confidence comes from feeling confident in your own skin – and this also means taking care of your hygiene and grooming. Let’s face it – who hasn’t worried about body odor or unusual smells when there’s someone getting busy around our private parts? And aside from being courteous to your partner, having good hygiene can also boost your sexual performance; conversely, nothing kills bedroom confidence quicker than thinking you might be stinking up the place.
Whether it means simply taking a shower before getting down to business or shaving your pubic hair hair the night before a big date, good hygiene is one of the most effective ways to boost self confidence when it’s time to do the deed.
Choose the Right Partners
Okay, so we all have to kiss a few frogs in our lives to get to the right person, but it’s worth mentioning that the people we share our bedroom with can also impact our sexual confidence. And while there’s no way to know if someone’s going to make you feel unconfident in the sack until you actually have the experience, try to gauge red flags early on.
If a potential sexual partner makes unwanted comments about your appearance, has trouble respecting your boundaries, or generally makes you feel uneasy, maybe put a raincheck on the hook-up. Bad sexual experiences – especially with poor partners – can set you back in your body confidence journey. It’s worth holding out for someone who meets both your physical and emotional needs.
Banishing Performance Anxiety
Finally, let’s talk about performance anxiety. As men, it’s easy to feel weighed down by the pressures that society – and in some cases, porn – put on us to be the ultimate performers in the sack.
The best way to get around this is to remember that sex is a shared experience; it’s not a performance that you have to excel at – nobody is grading you! And if they are, let us refer back to the point above ^ – choosing the right partners – ones who celebrate you for you – is the key to a happy sex life.
And if you struggle with physical conditions that make it difficult for you to maintain an erection or “perform” optimally, you can always try out effective penis enlargers to improve your confidence. These penis pumps – which use medical grade materials – use a vacuum to draw blood flow into the penis, keeping your dick harder for longer, and allowing you to fully enjoy whatever type of fun you’re getting up to in the confidence of your own bedroom.
