Last Updated on 16th April 2025 by Charlie Walsh
Confidence in the bedroom isn’t about looking perfect; it’s far more about feeling connected, safe, comfortable and present. Though we would likely all rather look like celebrities or supermodels, the reality is most of us do not have the time, money, or lifestyles to sustain such bodies.
Whether you’re navigating a new relationship or looking to reignite the spark with your long-term partner, building your confidence can transform your intimate experiences and help you feel closer to each other both physically and emotionally. Here, we explore four practical tips to help you be proud of your body and feel more relaxed and positive between the sheets.
Embrace your uniqueness
The key to feeling confident and self-assured is often self-acceptance. Instead of anxiously fixating on your insecurities, try to focus on what you love about your body and be compassionate about your ‘less-than-perfect’ bits. If your biceps aren’t as firm as they once were, or your belly isn’t as toned as you would like, it doesn’t mean your partner finds you any less attractive. Embracing your unique features, whether it’s your smile, hair, or the way you move, is a powerful and sexy energy to bring to the bedroom.
Practicing self-care can help to improve your mindset and make you feel better about your appearance, if it’s something you struggle with. Aim to exercise regularly, nourish your body with healthy foods, and wear clothes or lingerie that makes you feel drop-dead gorgeous to help elevate your self-image. The better you feel about yourself, the more confident you’ll be when you’re naked.
Build emotional intimacy
There’s a reason why the best sex is often had with someone you trust, love, and feel content with. Emotional connection plays a vital role, as when we feel appreciated and valued, it’s easier to let go and be present in the moment rather than worrying about our jiggly bits or what the other person is thinking.
Spending plenty of quality time with your partner outside of the bedroom, having meaningful conversations, sharing fun experiences, and giving and receiving non-sexual affection will deepen your bond and naturally make you more comfortable when it comes to getting physical. Much of our sexual attraction is built on chemistry, and especially for women, when we feel disconnected with our loved one it’s harder to feel as confident during sex.
Practice open communication
To be intimate with someone usually requires a deep feeling of trust – it’s a very vulnerable activity, after all. If you’re feeling nervous about being intimate with your partner, you may need to take a step back and start communicating in a more meaningful way. Open communication allows couples to feel more connected and understood, which translates to them both feeling more confident and having better sex as a result.
Talk with your other half about things that excite you, what makes you feel good, and any curiosities around sexual wellbeing. You should both be present and engaged throughout the conversation. Knowing they are attentive and respectful of your needs and desires is invaluable for easing anxiety and boosting your confidence.
Don’t overthink it
No one has ever felt confident when they’re stressing about performing or worrying about how they look. Switch your focus to the feelings, sensations, and pleasure of each moment, and try to stay present in your connection rather than letting your mind run away with unhelpful thoughts. Remember, great sex is about enjoying each other, not perfection.
By embracing your body, deepening your bond outside of the bedroom, and being open to having conversations around sex, both you and your partner are sure to feel the difference and enjoy a more fulfilling experience once the lights are low.
