Ever noticed how your mind races during intimate moments? Maybe you’re thinking about the things that you’re currently stressing about, your neverending to-do list, or whether you’re “performing” well enough; or if your partner is having a good enough time. With the help of sexual meditation, you might just be able to live in the moment when you’re getting busy – but what is it, and how does it work? Let’s investigate.
What is Sexual Meditation?
Sexual meditation is a bit like mindfulness, but with a spicy twist. Unlike traditional meditation where you’re trying to clear your mind, sexual meditation helps you tune into your physical sensations and sexual energy, so that you can focus fully on sensations you’re experiencing; the touch of your partner, and the feel of whatever it is that you’re enjoying together. In short, it’s about bringing your complete attention to your body and sexual energy without judgment, and being able to successfully “let go” during a steamy moment.
What are the Benefits of Sexual Meditation
Enhanced Intimacy
When you’re fully present in your body, everything changes. And if you’re like most guys, you might actually be surprised to discover just how much deeper your connections can become when they stop overthinking and start feeling. Not just for you – which is great – but for your partner too, who will be able to feel your increased engagement and presence.
Increased Awareness
You know that autopilot mode that you can sometimes slip into during sex? Sexual meditation helps put a stop to that; you’ll start noticing subtle sensations you’ve been missing and picking up on your partner’s cues more naturally.
Stress Relief
Let’s face it – stress creates an overproduction of cortisol, and cortisol kills your sex drive. Not only do endless studies prove this, but just think about the last time you were frazzled with stress – you likely weren’t in the mood to hop into bed and try out a new position from the kama sutra. Sexual meditation tackles both problems at once by reducing cortisol (aka the stress hormone) while also making you more connected to your body. In turn, you somehow get both hornier and more relaxed at the same time. Oxymoronic perhaps, but it works!
How to Practice Sexual Meditation
Doing this right before sex or a date can be a great way to get yourself into the right mindset:
Choose a Comfortable Space
Your environment matters, so find somewhere private where you won’t be interrupted by a drunk roommate or your parents. No need for anything fancy – just make sure you feel completely at ease.
Create a Relaxing Atmosphere
If you really want to turn things up a notch, set the scene; dim the lights, maybe light a candle or two. The goal of this is to signal to your brain that it’s time to shift gears from your busy day to a more sensual headspace.
Get Comfortable
Wear loose clothing or nothing at all, and lie down or sit in a position you can maintain for at least 15 minutes without getting fidgety.
Begin with Deep Breathing
Start with slow, deep breaths into your belly. Feel your abdomen rise and fall. Notice the temperature of the air as it moves in and out of your body.
Focus on Your Body
Gradually move your attention from your breath to your body. Start at your toes and work your way up, noticing any tensions, pleasurable sensations, or areas that feel neutral.
Connect with Your Sensations
When you reach your genital area, simply observe any sensations without trying to change them. Notice temperature, weight, pulse – whatever’s present in the moment.
Incorporate Visualization
Picture sexual energy as a warm light or tingling sensation. Let it flow through your body naturally, without forcing it in any particular direction. Alternatively, maybe start wondering about what your dick might look like before and after a dick pump – whatever works! (Joking, of course, just do that after).
Practice Mindfulness
Your mind will wander – that’s normal. When you catch yourself thinking about tomorrow’s meeting or what to have for dinner, just guide your attention back to your body without beating yourself up.
Common Challenges and Solutions
Difficulty Focusing
Can’t keep your mind from wandering? Start with shorter sessions. Even five minutes of focused practice beats 30 minutes of distracted attempts.
Overcoming Inhibitions
Feeling awkward is normal at first – you might even find yourself giggling at how ridiculous you think you look. Remember, this is private time for you – there’s no right or wrong way to experience your own body.
Final Thoughts
Even if you’re not totally sold on the concept of meditation itself, finding ways to connect to your body is always a good idea, especially if you’re not feeling particularly hot or desirable or if you’re feeling overwhelmed by stress. And if it doesn’t work – don’t sweat it. Meditation isn’t for everyone, and there are lots of ways you can reconnect to your body and feel more present during sex.
